She refuses to work (despite racking up tons of debt in his name to buy a huge house, new car, botox, a puppy, holidays, etc). I was in your exact situation a year ago. Now I am mentally sick again. If they cheat, you eventually find out and it destroys your confidence even more. wife 2 is stuck holding a bag of $hit but prob thinks she hit the jackpot. 2010: Hell has gotten even worse. I believe now that he got bored or I was not filling his supply like the excitement of a new relationship and he had to quickly get that addiction met so he didnt feel bad. Sure, I would love to know what was real, and what was her just trying to make me jealous, but in the end, who cares. I just told her congrats, and enjoy, and to let me know when her attorney had the divorce papers ready for me to sign. To an extent such that they end up disregarding everyone else and focusing merely on their pleasures and needs. a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to 2013-2015: Hell day and night. As a spouse to a narcissist, we cant expect them to change, or force them to change. Everything my ex accused me of, I just apologised for, agreed with her, and just went on my way. Thank you this happen to me she got them a house and now they are married. So be very very careful with a narcissist. So, why would a narcissist remarry rather than cohabitate or have long term girlfriend / boyfriend? 2009:Moves me in to the house he bought for victim number 1. The most beautiful eastern european woman came into my life just over a year ago. Married her barely a year after we divorced on final trip and brought her home. I know this post is several years old, and you may have found your answer, but simply put: The reason he tortures you the way he does is because you left him first, and a narcissist never forgives or forgets that because its probably the worst type of narcissistic injury they can experience. Responding to any smear, lie, slander, gossip from your EXN, only focusses attention on the actual smear/lie, and you end up trying to defend yourself against the smear; any attention/response that you provide is what the NARC wants, the NARC is pushing your buttons 3. The silence is a strange and cruel behavior that is harder to forgive, not the silence towards me, but the silence toward my daughter. He is giving his current wife everything she wants right now, including a child and moving closer to her family and away from our children, because she is feeding his ego and obviously is easily manipulating her with his lies and half truths. Although there would actually never be a marriage at all because a normal healthy stable awake person would see red flags in the early stages and would just end it instead of sticking around. Whether family members, friends, bosses, or coworkers we all have toxic people to overcome. Keep it light.". It could be money, fame, friends, assets, power, control-there is always something in it for them. Both adults change their relationship status on FB to engaged. The behaviors of my ex- deteriorated into controlling and bizarre rants. Empathy is necessary for sensitivity to others' feelings and compassion. Her contention to this day is that they were only friends and nothing else. The first is true passion, while the second. She is an amazing person that has made the wise decision to leave me. and grooming his next victim. I was only responding to her overtures but of course was in head over heels very quickly. Im rid of her and she married the idiot. We tried, or I should say I tried, and I could tell it seemed like to me he was living a different life. A common narcissistic marriage problem: Gaslighting. And when a wife decides [] Marries me while Im 5 months pregnant. Narcissists often rush into marriage and then a remarriage. So I ask my husband about it who shrugs his shoulders and sais he has no idea what our son is talking about. 10 Reasons Why Girls Want To Stay Friends After a Breakup, 8 Subtle Ways Guys Hint They Like You Without Saying It, 22 Painful Signs Hes Not Into You (Anymore). Breaking up with a narcissist is devastating in that you dont have a clue its coming. What is narcissistic supply? 1. But, being married to a narcissist means you will be taking part of a daily struggle. When he was served the papers the bad mouthing escalated and the ex girlfriend came out of the wood work. A narcissist's biggest source of narcissistic supply is his wife (if you are a male victim of a female narcissist, adjust the pronouns to work for your situation). Thanks for letting tell someone what is happing. We clicked immediately and talked for hours after meeting. However, this same person (woman), is prone to cheating when her husband is not available (working a lot of hours). I dated a narc on/off for 6 yrs. How useful a person will be to him is the measure of their worth. lol. So we just deal with it. They are incapable of loving anyone but themselves. Ive noticed narcissistic people tend to call other people narcissists frequently, I was the second wife to a narcissist. He or she feels they are unique and rare while most other human beings are common and ordinary. He met her in August 2014, proposed to her Dec. 2014, broke off the engagement Jan. 2015, re-proposed to her Feb. 2015 and married April 2015. There is almost nothing a narcissist wont do if he thinks it will bring him fame. Someday the kids will figure all this out. I couldnt understand how this man could have had two lives and I didnt know. Stand up for yourself. Because of the prenupt- I lost all of that money I put into the marriage, and was never reimbursed, even for the years of paying health insurance from my salary benefits. Narcissists play to your ego early, to make you dependent on their love and affection. But neither of us have ever made a move. Because being married makes it harder for you to leave them. She changed, started making me feel i was not worthy of her, made me feel i was an asshole, called me stupid, things like that. Any thoughts? Use one of these aspects as a benchmark to convince your spouse to get help. She looks like a young Marilyn Monroe with high cheek bones a real trophy girl who, despite a very rough life and childhood looks exactly half her age. If your narcissist seems open-minded, bring up the topic of getting help. Narcissists crave drama, positive feed back, and situations where they can dominate their partners. Its surreal. The narcissist does everything with one goal in mind: to attract Narcissistic Supply (attention). I was a doormat and the narcissist left me. "Don't become bitter. Anything whatsoever that you can say to the NARC, either verbally or in writing or through any third party, is simply giving your EXN a Supply, and you will just end up feeling pain. Hi thanks for saying this. I learned about flying monkeys. I know why he leaves work every lunchtime, leaves work early, works from home or barely talks to the rest of us any more. Want to know more? EXACT same scenario. Glad I did. Narcissists tend to end marriages by framing their spouse as the bad guy. I have recently found out that my ex-wife that i met and married in China then 2 years later came to Canada, my home country, is definitely narcissistic. She hasnt left him yet (3 years and counting) despite constantly threatening him with divorce. He would take the light bulbs out of the lights and hid them, because he thought it was burning too much electricity. Lovebombing at its finest! Any publicity is good publicity, even through marriage. A few weeks ago I discovered my Narcissist ex husband and his 4th wife (15yrs his junior) are expecting their first child, his 4th biological child or 8th including stepchildren. When that court matter and relationship ended we got married and had a baby, registered a business, bought a house, bought another house where we had tenants and the business was going good. One day she called and asked if i want to go to china in September, and i said no. I get pregnant with daughter number 2. So what i am looking for is a somewhat analysis of what other people think of this whole situation and what they feel was really going on. I was enthralled. He mentioned his ex wife and son, so I knew he had at least been married in the past. Her behavior is erratic and she leaves her children home often to go on long trips with whoever is her husband or boyfriend at the time. Simple. While you may not be physically hit or. You may often feel unloved when married to a narcissist, which also isn't your fault. The NARC will continue to try to elicit responses from you, as these maintain their control over you, and helps feed their supply needs 4. I dont know the Narcissists new wife, but was friends with his first wife and she was a total door mat to him. If they left you congratulations! Any thoughts of her can have the potential to emotionally tie you back to her.look in the mirror tomorrow morning and believe that there are healthy women in the world that can love and can support and genuinely do it from their heart. Got a job for two months, complained that the boss was mean because she couldnt get away with being an arrogant spoiled brat at work, then ragequit one day. Within weeks she was shacked up with someone else, a guy she swore was just a friend when I asked her days before I left, lol, sending me emails and texts saying she was in Cabo, or the islands somewhere. He treated me and my kids like chop liver in my own house. If you marry a narcissistyou will be uniting with a person who does not have empathy. One day she hates me and never wants to see me, next day she shows up at my office with a bag of oranges she said she bought me. I myself have been divorced 3 times but for my poor choices. But I thought if I kept quiet life would be ok. So he dumped me out of the blue and got a new girl 3 weeks later. Says one minute if i change some things she might come back, then next minute says we can never by husband and wife ever again. NOTHING. My dad thinks that because he didn't finish college that he is a quitter and "he will never amount to anything.". Narcissists do get into romantic relationships. mine did almost the same but is delusional n hides the mental fk up w/ FB smoke n mirrors. The week before I left she was trying to get me to have her tubes unties. I was married to a NARC and dealt with a lot of dark things from this man. When we met wow, just the most incredible woman i had ever known. A woman who is pleasing in bed well, its not really as lasting as other qualities. I was briefly married to a narcissistic man. There is no rhyme or reason to their drastic swings. By the time we were in the process of a divorce he had not only one GF but two (that I know of). A narcissist will never stay married through the expression of love, compassion, or respect. I signed a pre-nupt. It was so insane. Narcissistic dad and my wedding. It all really depends on what their spouse does for them. Little did I know narcs equate stability with BOREDOM. The narcissistic personality is unstable in each and every one of its dimensions. He had destroyed my reputation to his family who would not speak to me for the entire time we were married. He married a retired nurse 10 yrs his senior. The second method of retention, cost-inflicting behaviors, is far darker and intimidating and just as abusive as the gift-giving method. She got pregnant right away, so she could get more attention, bought a HUGE house so she could show everyone how successful she was after remarrying this amazing guy. Took work overseas over being home with our kids partly to be with GF 2. And I feel anger about that, I must admit. I had a 4 yr relationship with a narcissist. Anyhow 3 months ago she came to my office and told me she wants a divorce, she does not love me anymore, and we separated on May 3rd. You are explaining what just happened to me to a tee. The rest of the time she was sharing selfies of expensive holidays, her wedding, things he bought her publically, not just friends/family. It took him a month to get me to go out with him and he moved in with me shortly thereafter. All the while my kids are all in the middle of this mangled mess, he begs her back after learning she was pregnant again for the third time and they go on a Family cruise Dec. 3, 2015 that ended in a altercation with my 13 year old daughter. Its sickening what they do and how they do it, and get away with it. Being in a intimate relationships gives a narcissist many options that they might not have had otherwise. Ignore everything you here or read 2. I have used all my savings just trying to survive and am now collecting food stamps (thank God-I have plenty of things wrong with my health-aneurysms, emphysema, anemic and malnourished, C-PTSD; I have been going to counseling for 20 years now and other things-I live on SS and pension). I got a wage deduction order and the divorce said that he had to pay me until death or in the event that I lived with someone else. They cannot control the intense negative feelings that they generate in their own mind. My ex is a classic, insecure narc. He left me in the emergency room and never came back. http://samvak.tripod.com/faq32.htmlhttp://getoveranarcissist.com/narcissist-narcissism-marriage/. I was floored and told him he was nuts . By associating with others who attract attention, he ensures that he will never be deficient in Narcissistic Supply. they always do til its too late. Could a second marriage actually last with these type conditions? Thank God they werent my kids though. They are soon to be married and are plastering their gushing love all over social media. Before we got engaged, he asked my dad for his . 2007-08: meets victim number 2, impregnates, attempts to buy a house, proposes, she aborts baby, calls it off. Im rid of her and she married the idiot. Why does he have to portray to the family that he is the good guy and that I have done this bad thing to him by applying for divorce? And hed pretend like nothing ever happened. This is what you need to know when you marry a divorced narcissist . Not only the fact that Im in love with him, but knowing how he is being treated and knowing from direct experience how it felt and how screwed up my head was back then. I know it was weird of me to keep reading them, but its so strange to watch your own relationship being reenacted in front of you by two other people. Is there something in the narcissists mind about the new source that makes them more prone to such a drastic step? Within weeks she was shacked up with someone else, a guy she swore was just a friend when I asked her days before I left, lol, sending me emails and texts saying she was in Cabo, or the islands somewhere. Divorcing a Narcissist is the ultimate challenge, The Narcissist Keeps Coming Back and Contacting Me, My Narcissist Boyfriend is Jealous of my Ex. He was a tenant of mine and was dating someone when I met him. When a narcissist rushes into a relationship and remarries quickly, you can be rest assured there is SOMETHING in it for them. We are not exs, we are victims of these people. He wont have the courteousy to call you to let you know hes getting married. The narcissists view of himself and of his world is correspondingly unstable. I had a terrible accident which left me temporarily paralyzed from the waist down. No love. Paul,she has done you a massive favour.Keep looking ahead, blinkers off but aware that people like this have nothing.Empty vessels, its all about looks and control with themremember,empty vessels make the most noise.These Narcs have no shame,conscience,esteem,love (for themselves (not in that way) or for others)..it is like dating a robot.They say all the right things at the right time but it is all done to manipulate. I had no idea why were were together anymore. They crush peoples lives and end up on top, again and again, and again. And yes, some women offer both. This term is derived from the psychological disorder and is better known in the context of a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). U will feel better. Not sure if like atteacts like in cases like this or what. Hmm, same thing he told me. She is a widow. I know why he sounds flat and like all the energy and happiness has been sucked out of him.
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